Custom Made

The week before Mason's surgery, my nerves were shot. I would have little bursts of adrenaline that made me feel like I took a swift punch to the gut and a chill would wave over me. Then right back to normal. The hardest moments of the day were when he was sleeping and I was alone with my wandering, worrying mind. As soon as Mason would wake up and we'd play again, I was, for the most part, fine. It is hard to concentrate on the bad when he smiles and his blue eyes catch the light in just a way that if it were a cartoon, you would here that *ping!* sound. If you have spent any time with him, you know the sparkle I'm talking about.
Each night, I'd kinda shake my head and say to Travis, I can't believe it's actually happening. To have your baby have to face such a major surgery with a tough recovery is crazy! At his age he is rolling and army crawling everywhere. He is on the verge of real crawling and pulling up, and all of these movements require intense core muscles. His incision will be located precisely in the area where the muscles are worked the most. How in the world do you attempt to keep an exploring baby from over-exerting themselves?

The day before the procedure the grandmothers came over, loved on and played with him. Then came the difficult part of the day. Bed time. His eyes were droopy, he was yawning and it was already15 minutes past normal down time. I didn't want the day to end. I put him to bed and that's when the 'Ugly Cry' came out. Surprisingly, it didn't last as long as I expected. The 2 months of watching the calendar had done their job. It was here and that was that.

Morning. Tuesday. The surgery was scheduled for 9 am, we got there at 7:30, and waited.... Mason wasn't allowed any food or drink before the procedure, and even though his belly was empty and he was out the door an hour and a half before he usually wakes up, he was his normal, happy self. We waited... Finally at 8:40 Dr. Winslow, the urologist/surgeon, came to the waiting room along with the anethesiologist and assistants. We talked about what was going to happen, the previous surgery and the rough recovery. We were assured that because he was older and stronger, that wouldn't happen again. And then they left, taking Mason. He went out the door looking at the nurse and her funny hat, smiling. Sweet boy. Again, the feeling was what you would expect. Fortunately, the nurse had taken pity on our situation. We were the only infant surgery of the day so she had set us up in a private waiting room. I actually didn't cry for very long. Another surprise. I guess I had come to grips with the situation.

The procedure took 6 hours to complete. We had been told 3-4, but I knew it would take longer. We had a nurse liaison updating us every couple hours, but when 4.5 hours had passed, I started to squirm. Pacing, leg shaking, a lot of 'This sucks'. Finally she showed up in the doorway and said, he's in recovery! He hadn't cried once and was resting in another nurse's arms looking around. Sweet relief! Dr. Winslow came to speak with us about the way he altered Mason's very unique situation. Apparently Mason's ureters were incredibly misshapen and he seemed very proud of himself for his new construction.

The next few hours produced a rollercoaster of emotions. He had made it through the surgery beautifully and there were NO respiratory problems like before - Happiness and more relief. But he had no idea he had just had major surgery and that those critical core muscles that he had been strengthening with all the attempts at crawling were very tender and needed rest - Anxiety. He slept for a couple hours, but when he woke up he threw us a curveball. He remained calm, didn't try any sudden movements and let the nurses change his dressings with no fussing at all. I was astounded. I got a good look at his incision then too. It is a little larger than I expected. It almost goes hip to hip, but keep in mind, it's a baby's torso, so don't picture 9 inches, it's more like 4 1/2 inches. He had a couple drainage tubes and of course the catheter. It looks very well done though. Very clean and will fade with time nicely.

This was taken after the first dressing change. Clearly he isn't fazed by what he's just had done, or maybe it's the hydrocodone. Either way, he's happy, and he stayed this way for a long time. Around 3am his local anesthetic was wearing off and the coughing from the anesthesia started so he needed a boost of morphine, but that was the only one for the entire time we were in the hospital.

There were times the next day, Wednesday, that he was uncomfortable, fussed at the nurses, fussed at laying on his back still, fussed because he felt like it. All things considered though, pleasant. I was able to hold him that afternoon and we all fell asleep. The weight of his little body and steady puffs of breath were wonderful. It felt perfect. That afternoon, evening and night were good, some fussing. Thursday he woke up with a smile. Melt my heart. One of the drainage tubes was removed then we sat him up and he played with the toys we had brought. Nana, Grandma and Grandpa, Red and Kiko came to visit and the day gave us a fairly normal Mason. It's amazing how babies can recover from such a traumatic experience. I had been told that he would impress us with his speed of recovery but he really bounced back quickly. The evening into night was a little difficult for him. He had used so much energy during the day being normal, that he was pretty uncomfortable. It took awhile, but he eventually gave in to sleep and only woke once at 4:30 for a bottle and some meds. Friday morning presented us with more smiles and he was even rolling over and pulling his knees under him. The other drainage tube was taken out and the discharge papers were given. We did leave with his catheter still in which takes some creative diapering. Cut a strategically placed hole in the front of the first diaper, pull cath through said hole, and put on a larger diaper over top. Not only is the creative diapering unpleasant, but add a squirmy baby who likes to throw his legs and 'explore' with his hands, and the difficulty level is raised ten fold. It will be a giant relief, I'm sure for Mason as well, when Wednesday comes and the special addition is removed.

With all this said, and the week behind us, I still can not believe the big moment we have been waiting for, for nearly 9 months, is over. This procedure has been on my mind in some small way, and in many cases very big ways, every day and now it's behind us. And we wait. Sure, this will lead us to solving the reflux problem, but what will happen now? How will the kidneys react to the fix? Will they heal and leave him with enough healthy kidney for his lifetime or will they give enough to get him through adolescence then require a transplant? The hardest thing about his situation is that we have to wait for all the answers. For now I have the peace that he has cleared the first major hurdle and made it seem like it was just a slight hiccup in his week. We were blessed with one very tough little boy who has the biggest heart and smile ever. I knew from his kicks in my belly that he was a fighter, and he is proving to be even stronger than I had ever imagined.

I love my little man with all my heart, custom made plumbing and all.